morning gold

2005-12-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

There are times when I am confronted with how little I truly understand those around me or even the purpose of my in existence in as much as it affects those who, some by choice others by predestination, walk through life around me. Do I really understand what it means to care about others? or do I simply consider each step of my life from the point of my own existence. If so, then what makes my life so important that I overstep the bounds of anothers life and use them to make my life better while at the same time worsening theirs. By being alive am I given power to abuse those around me? Of course not, yet it seems that through my own laziness and self-indulgence I do exactly that. For once I wish that I could simply put my foot down and change.. however I know that its a marathon and change will take miles of my life. But for now I utter these ravings against my inner soul in the hope that I will be able to return to them later and see how far I have gone from them and whether I truly have left them in the miles behind.

James 2:10-13

2005-08-30T06:16:00.000-07:00

10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.
11 For He who said, "Do not commit Adultery," also said, "Do not commit murder." Now if you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.
12 So speak and so act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty.
13 For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment

I'm guilty! There is nothing else I can say. Whether I have lied or had sex, been drunk, done drugs, or simply gossiped about someone is irrelevant. In any case I am guilty of the whole law and I must be forgiven for the whole law as well. Only Jesus in the law of liberty offers complete salvation by replacing the laws judgment with mercy towards His children. It is in that mercy that I rest and abide.

So what does this say for my life today? verse 12 "speak and act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty." So for today I should interact with those nearby in a manner of understanding that shows them that I am only a sinner saved by grace. displaying my own vulnerability by not judging those around me because I am myself guilty of transgressing the whole law. Humility and encouragement are my watchwords for today....

James 2:1-9

2005-08-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

1 My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism.
2 For if a man comes into your assembly with a gold ring and dressed in fine clothes, and there also comes in a poor man in dirty clothes,
3 and you pay special attention to the one who is wearing the fine clothes, and say, "You sit here in a good place," and you say to the poor man, "You stand over there, or sit down by my footstool,"
4 have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil motives?
5 Listen, my beloved brethren: did not God choose the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?
6 But you have dishonored the poor man. Is it not the rich who oppress you and personally drag you into court?
7 Do they not blaspheme the fair name by which you have been called?
8 If, however you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well.
9 But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as trangressors.

Slap, slap, slap...... Sometimes people are so funny to watch (myself included). We bow and cringe and try to make the rich people happy but guess what they're already proud, do they care about others around them if they have to sit in the best seat and if they demand special treatment. No, of course they don't but yet we make special allowances for the people with huge pocket books while ignoring the fact that the "poor" person gives in comparison just as much if not more. This is all in despite of the fact that God cares more for the attitude of the heart than he cares for the offering. Many times God told Israel, I don't want your money, I want your love... But somehow we forget all this. God wants our hearts, He desires our humility not our money. This is why He is so angered when the rich are catered too because to Him all they bring is what is in their heart.. He can raise up whatever He wants and tear down whatever He wants our hearts not our money, although the condition of our hearts is shown in our pocketbooks. The next time I see someone that has been blessed by God with riches I'm going to look past them to the heart.

James 1:26-27

2005-08-15T09:41:00.000-07:00

26 If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless.
27 Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained from the world

James 1:21-25

2005-07-26T08:08:00.000-07:00

21 Therefore, putting aside alll filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls.

22 But prove yourselves doers of the word and not merely hearers who delude themselves.

23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror;

24 for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.

25 but one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.

To delude is an interesting word it can mean to fool or to be fooled. but in the scientific realm it is used to describe the process of watering down a substance from it's original strength. Any man who hears the word and then does not act upon it deludes himself by false actions, slowly washing away the power of the word in his life until he is so deluded with the world as to be useless. I can look at my own life and see how in so many ways I am deluded instead of purified each day. I can without even trying find hundreds of ways in which I fail to do God's word. For example God has said "love the Lord your God with all your heart soul and mind" yet if I truly examine my life, If I truly look at my motives I can only see a love for myself buried deep inside of my heart. why am I kind to others, so they will be kind to me, why do I serve? so I will be noticed for it. It is painful to continue because I only find more of the same wherever I look in my life. where I wonder are my spiritual victories? where is the strength of heart and mind that should belong to a believer? I don't know where it is but I want to find it and if it isn't within me then is in the hands of my heavenly father and to Him I will run, to Him I will cling for He alone is my strength and He alone is my refuge. Father I am so full of my own iniquities that I feel as though I cannot even utter your name without blaspheming it. but yet You proffer your mercy to me and you hold out Your grace, You promise to lift me up again whenver I am faint. Today I stand, no today I kneel, no today I fall on my face your mercy to plead for and embrace. Here I will lie forever because I cannot stand I am only your creation please come and take me by the hand. Lift me up once agian to humility and humbleness to graciousness and love in this way I can live with my eyes fixed above.

Psalm 139

2005-07-17T13:48:00.000-07:00

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm. 1 O LORD , you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD . 5 You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. 19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! 20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD , and abhor those who rise up against you? 22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

This is my favorite Psalm! I was reading it in my devotions the other night and was struck once again by the awesomeness of our God. He is amazing!! I love how this Psalm opens-a declaration that God has always been there and will always be there. He knows every step my life will take and has had them planned out since before the world began. How awesome is that! But then David goes on to talk of the men who are disregarding God and seeking the things of this world. He talks of how much he doesn't want to be a part of that--which is something I wish I could say more often. But I think the coolest thing is his humbleness--after talking about all the things these men are doing, he comes back and says, "Search My heart O God." He doesn't want any of those ways in him and realizes he is just as vunerable to them as the next person. And I could write a book on this Psalm but I won't. It's just a really good reminder.

James 1:19-20

2005-07-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

19 this you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak

and slow to anger;

20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

Lord, forgive me for the many times when I have exploded in anger or failed to listen to others so that I could express myself. forgive me for every time I have not listened to you and become angry because my plans failed. please forgive me, even though I am unworthy of any forgiveness, because I cling to your sacrifice of your only and most precious. please forgive me in your mercy and cleanse me in your righteousness and purify me in trials to better serve you.

James 1:18

2005-07-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

18 In the exercise of His will He brought us forth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures.

We have been made to know the wonders of the truth of God and set apart by Him as a living testimony to the world. The first fruits are the ripe, delicious, and most easily used of all the harvest. this is what God wants us to not be green, to not be old and soft but to be immediately at all times ready for His work. We are the first fruits maybe it's time to live like it and offer ourselves to God.

james 1:16-17

2005-07-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.

17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

when I look at what I think brings me pleasure or what I would consider a good gift I only see a new car or a laptop. yet this is only the deception of the world for as this verse says every good thing is given from God. The things in our lives that are good for us are from our heavenly Father the one who put the stars in the heavens and created the mighty sun. His galaxy stretches far beyond our futile imaginings and stretches even further. How can people look to His creation for satisfaction. He alone knows what's best. He alone can tell what we truly need. He gives not just a few good things and not just a few perfect gifts but all good things and all perfect gifts. Lord please give me the gift of faithfulness please endow me with your love. please establish your holy way in me. These are gifts I long for, these are the perfect gifts! (i might add :for any occasion: )

We were Redeemed by the Blood

2005-07-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

I Peter 1: 17Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. 18For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. 21Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

I have decided I Peter is my favorite book of the Bible-there is so much truth in every verse. I could write a post on each on separately. But I will keep them in sections so as to save you all the hassle of reading all my posts:). I love verse 17-we call on or serve a God who judges impartially. How awesome is that! Although so often I judge people partially-take a look at the cover and make a judgment on the whole person. But as the passage goes on to say, we weren't redeemed by perishable things, but by the precious blood of Christ. So we shouldn't judge others based on perishable things like money, status etc. They were redeemed just as we were by the precious blood of Christ and deserve to be treated as such. How often do we judge others by our stupid wordly standards-Christ thought they were precious enough to die for, shouldn't we at least give them the time of day.

James 1:13-15

2005-07-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

13 Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.

14 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.

15 then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

We laughingly say "I don't want to die" but every time we give in to temptation we die. And again I'm sure we laugh and say "death?" I won't die because I get drunk, you can. I won't die because I sleep around, you can. I won't die because I'm an angry person, you can. what if this verse doesn't mean only physical death what if it means emotional death. or the loss of someone you love in your life. It's the little temptations to sleep in, to choose to go somewhere you shouldn't and in a split second or matter minutes everything you love can be lost; all the dreams can fade or be smashed with a hammer, and, happily ever after can become unhappy forever. I can only say that I now have a new respect for the discipline needed to live a happy life. I now look at each decision not as what I want at the moment but also what I want in the future and what God wants.

Self-control-I Pet. 1:4-13

2005-07-05T14:36:00.000-07:00

I'm continuing on in my I Peter study. I got past verse 1! yay!! But I am utterly amazed at how convicting this chapter of scripture has been. Every verse seems to stand out in my mind and challenge me again and again. But the one thing that I especially latched onto was two words- Be Self-controlled. The passage is talking about what Christ did on the cross for us. And it tells us to live self-controlled as strangers in this world. As I look at my life, I see a huge lack of self-control..which perhaps is not as obvious to the rest of the world as it is to me. But I don't have much of it..so that is my goal for this week. Work on self-control. It starts in my mind--being disciplined to think right thoughts and stay in the Word. Being that it is summer-it it always harder for me to stay dilligent in my bible study which one would think would be opposite because I do have more time..but between working two jobs, Adam, and the rest of my friends- I don't make the time for God. Again showing my lack of self control. So as I continue to study in I Peter and be showed up my boyfriend's ability to write, I am going to work on self control and living life for God.

James 1:12

2005-07-02T08:33:00.000-07:00

12 Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

Blessed, what does it mean to be blessed? and since I am not the bible guru that I should this is what the King James Dictionary says - - BLESS'ED, a. Happy; prosperous in worldly affairs; enjoying spiritual happiness and the favor of God; enjoying heavenly felicity. - - There it is, blessed is to be happy or to be in heaven's good graces. So translated the verse says "happy is a man". However this verse describes much more than earthly felicity. It says that this happiness will be summed up in heaven where the man who persevered will receive a crown of life. So although earthly felicity is what we all to often seek, it is the heavenly in which I should find true joy. So I will "consider it all joy" when I encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of my faith produces endurance.

James 1:9-11

2005-07-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

9 But the brother of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position;
10 and the rich man is to glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away.
11 For the sun rises with a scorching wind and withers the grass; and its flower falls off and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away.

What we are given is for a purpose. Money is only the means to an end not the end itself. gaining riches will lead to a life that is wasted because eventually all will be lost to us. But gaining riches and giving them away is not humiliation as the rich man. If I must work I will work to live not live to work. If I must earn money let me earn to live and give not live to earn. I don't want to live a life wasted on gaining possessions that I will lose in my death. Where is the purpose in that? I want to earn enough to comfortably support my family, to give to others in need, and further the Lord's kingdom. Never do I want my job to take away time with my God, my family, or the saving of the lost in this world. If I must work let it be an opportunity to serve others and lead them to Christ. For soon the sun will rise with a scorching wind on my life and wither all I have acheived; I want to be in pursuit of You, Lord, so that my search will find an end.

James 1:5-8

2005-06-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to

all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one

who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.

For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,

being a double minded man, unstable in all his ways."

At the moment I am in the middle of many crossroads in this life and there are so many decisions to make about college, friends, family that I feel overwhelmed. I lack the wisdom to make all of these decisions, to be wise enough to know how to handle everything that comes my way. But then again I'm not supposed to handle it alone because He says "if any of you lacks wisdom let him ask". Therefore I'm not alone and I never have to know exactly what to do on my own because He holds the answers if I ask.

But there is a stipulation to this wisdom, a stipulation on the gift, it is that whoever it is given to must be of a single mind, a mind focused on God. To be double minded would be like unto having two brains, one which controls the left side of the body and one which controls the right. A person in this condition would find it nearly impossible to accomplish anything because the two minds would always have different agendas. In my life I see all too easily where I have double standards, double mindedness, where I am one with the world and yet claim to be one with God. I have always heard the opposites attract expression which may work for relationships and magnets but it definitely doesn't work well for real life, water neutralizes fire, hot and cold air neutralize each other, acids neutralize bases and bases neutralize acids. All this goes to show that when I am double minded I am trying to light a fire for God in my heart but at the same time I'm pouring on it the water of the world and destroying the flame. If that doesn't make any sense then this should being double minded is to be paralyzed, helpless to accommplish any good. I want to have God's wisdom, God's guidance but he requires that we are able to use the gift before he gives. Isn't that true in real life, you don't give a baseball glove to a basketball player, and you don't give a computer geek a weightset instead we give what people will use because we don't want to waste our gift. God does the same thing he is not looking for a neutralized or paralyzed Christian. He is looking for a one minded purpose oriented Christian to accomplish His will. I want to be that Christian, don't you?

I can't get past verse 1..

2005-06-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

I have started studying First Peter and I can't get past verse one. I have tried three different times, but I always get stopped by one phrase. "To God's elect, strangers in the world.." That's as far as I get--Strangers in the world. This is not my home-I am not supposed to be well known here, a someone, a friend..no I am a stranger. In other places in scripture it talks about being foreigners or travelers passing through. But the reason I can't get past this verse is because I know how untrue it is of my life. I am not a stranger of this world. I know it all too well. I cling to it as my friend and home. But that is not what God has called me. He has called me a stranger. Now when I was little my mom always told me, "Don't talk to strangers" and it has stuck with me--I am still very very careful about talking to strangers. But if I am to be a stranger in this world does that mean no one will talk to me--I honestly don't think so, but I do think it will change things. I won't be the most popular, the most well liked, the richest, etc..In some cases I will be the stranger--but it is worth it. Who wants to be well liked in this world and then burn in the next. Personally, I would rather endure some shame now in view of the glory that is waiting for me. So I am taking up my new identity with pride-Stranger in this world...traveler passing through with eyes focused on eternity. And hopefully I will be able to make it to verse two:)

Amanda

2005-06-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

Graduation!!!!!!!!!! and Micah my best buddy

2005-06-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

Me and my buddy Micah and sister amanda,